I’ve been stuck in a low key identity crisis for several months now, some might say that’s a bit of an over exaggeration since all it is is that I don’t know what to do with my hair.
At this moment, my hair is the longest it has been since my senior year of High School and it’s about four different colors. To start with I’ve got almost two inches of untouched roots, proof of my indecisiveness. Luckily for me, my dark blonde hair looks at least passably natural as it bleeds into the red majority. Then there’s my professionally done highlights, competently bleached sections that I like to think are at least a little reminiscent of Anna from Frozen. And then there’s my home bleach job at the nape of my neck, I wanted to see how platinum blonde would look on me and the good news is it looks pretty cool. Unfortunately it’s really hard to bleach dyed red hair so while the center strands are a nice white color, it fades out to a pinkish orangey color by the ends. When it curls together with the regular red it reminds me of the colors of fire.
I’ve been growing my hair out for about a year now. When I started I thought I’d do it to see if I could manage it better this time around. Like I said my hair was this long or longer in high school, and full of frizz and also strangely flat for naturally curly hair. I just thought that long hair didn’t work for me, now I know that high school me was the problem with my hair, so my experiment is ostensibly over and I’m free to do anything with my hair again.
I’ve learned about myself that the space I most like to occupy is the area between a ant garde and normal. It’s a safe space to be, when it comes to fashion it means you get compliments on your interesting style but not stared at. It means you don’t end up on street style blogs but you also don’t end up on lists making fun of ‘basic’ girls. It’s also a bit of a cowardly space to be, wilder impulses get curbed and I listen to the crowd perhaps more than I’d like. I think this tendency of mine is why I’m having trouble deciding what to do with my hair right now.
At Smith my standard haircut counted as long hair. Smith has a cliché hair cut called the Smith Chop, it’s called that because they chop all of your hair off leaving maybe three inches or there abouts. It’s incredible to see in the fall all the incoming firsties who arrive with long hair and to see just how many off them get a drastic haircut in the first few weeks. Locks of love could survive off of Smithie haircuts alone. In Europe however, my standard cut counts as short hair. Here a lot of women have hair to their shoulder blades and mine is a pretty normal length.
I’m also right about to go through a lot of environment changes, and whatever I do to my hair is going to last for awhile. A plan I had for a good amount of time was to go very blonde and get my hair cut back to my shoulders again. They go together because I get bored having the same hair for a long time and I know I want to try being very blonde, and turning very blonde usually necessitates losing some length. But when I go back to Smith I want to go back to being a redhead, at least for senior photos. I tried out red hair the winter of my first year and I absolutely love it, I fully intend on being a red head for the majority of all time. And I definitely want to sport it in the yearbook since it represents how I looked for most of my Smith career. So right now I’m leaning towards staying a red head and possibly bleaching next spring. But that still leaves the question of length. Really the main reason I was going to cut my hair was because the bleach would fry it, without that there’s no real drive to go back to my standard length. So I’m going to keep it, I enjoy having long hair, I can play with it and style it much more than I can when it’s short. So I’m going to keep growing it, I’ll go back to Smith in the top 20th percentile for long hair. And I will enjoy sticking out.